Monday, June 13, 2016

Sometimes Facebook is a Liar

Hi.

Hello.

Go ahead and sit down. We need to talk. You're not going to like what I have to say, but you need to hear it.

Sometimes Facebook lies to you. And you believe the Facebook.  You believe it. Because you're good hearted and you're an optimist. Believe me, I'm an optimist too. I'm a glass is half-full kind of gal. But I need to tell you about a little trick Facebook is playing on some of us and some of us believe it and I'm here to break it to you: FACEBOOK LIES.

Well, let's rephrase. Facebook itself, the corporation, isn't the one telling these lies. It's Facebook users. It's the Facebook community who lies and we are sweet and gullible little things who click and share. But I'm here to help out my fellow Facebooker. Don't let these lies happen to you!!

There are 2 big lies on Facebook right now:

LIE #1: Random Celebrity Was Seen in Your Town And/ Or Hit Movie Sequel is Going to Be Filmed in a Town Near You

This is what they call click-bait, my friends. You read a headline, you get all excited, you share it with your friends, they click it, they get all excited, they share it with their friends.

NO.

Look at the website. Looks like it was posted by some random local news station, right? Google that news station. IT DOESN'T EXIST.

The cast of Harry Potter was not in your city eating at a restaurant.

They aren't filming The Notebook 3 or the next Father of the Bride movie in your college town.

Star Wars IS NOT FILMING ITS NEXT MOVIE DOWN THE STREET FROM YOU.



There's a Tom Hanks one that's also been circulating lately. Also not true. NOT. TRUE. The best tip I can possibly give you is to look at the source. If it's from Entertainment Weekly or People magazine or something - hooray. If it's from "Local 23 News Channel Station Entertaiment Site Now"or something like then it's probably NOT REAL.

Lie #2: THE COPY AND PASTE RIDICULOUSNESS

Friends. Friends. FRIENDS.

Look into my eyes. Listen very carefully.

You will never ever accomplish any kind of anything by copying and pasting something into your status.

Facebook is not going to start charging you, ever. And they certainly aren't going to not charge you just because you copied and pasted something into your status.

Remember when Michael Scott "declared bankruptcy" on The Office?


That's essentially what is happening when you copy and paste something into your status. IT WILL NEVER ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING, EVER. 

You will not win a prize. 

It will not prevent Facebook from "owning" your images and using them without your consent. 

You will not win money.

It will not earn you a trip to Disney World. 

It is a hoax. It is not real.

It's okay. We're all gonna be okay. 

Thank you. 



Sunday, June 12, 2016

Let's Talk About Jack

Y'all. I'm in for it with this kid.

He's barely 7 months old. He's active. He's busy. Even when buckled into something, I often find him almost wriggled free.

Just yesterday he started scooting on his belly. He scoots right over to whatever dangerous thing he wants to put in his mouth. This afternoon I walked past him playing with toys on the living room floor. I walked past him, went to my master bedroom, plugged my phone in, and when I walked back into the living room he was over by the fireplace with both hands on the hearth, about to hit his chin.

GOOD TIMES.




He loves his sister. He cracks up at her. He loves the dog, who could care less about him. He smiles the instant he sees his daddy.

He eats fruits and vegetables like a champ. He tries to eat Ellie's food if it's within his reach. He's had a bad cough for 85% of his life. It's infuriating.

He doesn't like having his diaper changed. He loves the bath. He recently has decided that he likes the pool.

He "talks" to Ellie in the car. He also "talks" when he's fighting sleep.

He goes to sleep just fine - but he doesn't nap for nearly as long as Ellie used to nap. Ellie used to nap for 3 hours. It was glorious. Jack seems to have an internal clock that ends his nap time after about an hour.

He doesn't really like to be put down. If he's going to placed onto the floor for some play time, he'd very much like for you to be on the floor with him, please and thank you.

He also has followed in his sister's footsteps in that he hates hates hates stoplights. Any time the car comes to a stop it's pretty much out of line, in his opinion.

This last week I was determined to really take advantage of all Summer had to offer. I decided to not let my little girl sit at home and watch TV all week. We were gonna hit the road, go on playdates, swim at pools, go on adventures, be outside and go to some of the free attractions around town.

WELL.

After toting around a feisty girl, a teething baby who has lots of needs, sweating, fighting the rain, fighting nap time schedules, fighting feeding schedules, spit up, loading and unloading a stroller multiple times a day,  and holding a baby in a pool and then having your daughter declare that she needs to go potty right now and it's an emergency and you have nowhere to put the baby... I've just decided that this week we will stay home and watch TV. That was entirely too much effort.

Cause really there's nothing more fun than being in a swim suit, sopping wet, holding a slippery wet baby who's angry, and trying to help a child also in a wet swim suit wipe herself while trying not to drop the wet baby.

Happy Summer, everyone!