Family Activities

Here's what we've been up to:

Ellie: Singing into her Sofia microphone. Feeding imaginary food to stuffed animals. Dancing. Requesting the same thing repeatedly - about 47 times every half hour. Refusing to eat. Being adorable. Saying new things. Watching "Despicable Me" approximately 900 times per week. ("Watch the minions, Mommy? Minions? Minions, Mommy? Again, Mommy, Minions?") Going to school twice a week. Giving me a report on each child in the class and telling me whether or not he/she cried and whether or not he/she pooped. Coloring. Play-Doh. Singing and making up words to new songs. Demanding different food than what I have served her. It's a charmed little life she lives.

Grant: Working his butt off. End of quarter was last week so he is still detoxing from all that. Being a great husband and a great daddy. Taking Ellie to feed the ducks and such. He's also been spending some time doing a little activity called "Flounder Gigging." Basically, he drives to the coast really late at night... wades into the water... and sticks a knife in sleeping fish. And then he drives back home somewhere around 2 or 3 am. It's good times, apparently. However, I've been quite sad about it as whenever he says the word Flounder, I think of this little friend:

And that is just a tragedy.

Grant has also been doing a lot of the cooking here at the house lately and I have thoroughly been enjoying that little change of pace. Otherwise, he is watching football and just being the handsomest.

Jen: Aside from my daily allergy medicine upkeep, I am staying indoors as much as possible and patiently waiting for the legit cool temps to arrive. My use of the word "patiently" might be arguable. I am playing with Ellie and tending to her every whim and feeling. I've been writing. I've been running. I had been running 2-3 times per week but that is kinda halted right now as yesterday I was running and I felt something not pleasant in the side of my knee. I immediately went to Dr. Google and all his spot-on, never-wrong wisdom and learned that it's quite possible I have something called IT Band pain which is totally to be expected of someone like me who is a reputable and competitive athlete. Anyways, I'm just taking it easy for a few days and not running anymore which isn't that hard to give up to be honest.

I've been watching my shows and folding laundry and planning a going away party for our sweet friends who are leaving us (I AM SO SAD) and trying to eat better which is good some days and miserable other days.

Last night, for example, Grant asked me if I would be okay with him missing dinner so he could drive down and go flounder gigging. He didn't have to ask me twice. I really needed a night to unwind (this week has been exhausting in so many ways) so he left and I put Ellie to bed and I turned off my phone for a bit and watched "Finding Your Roots" on PBS (because I'm super hip and exciting) and I ordered Chinese food because I NEEDED IT. I NEEDED THE CHINESE FOOD. A sweet, elderly gentleman brought Beef Lo Mein to my doorstep. And also some steamed pork dumplings because I needed to meet the minimum delivery requirement. And he also brought 2 fortune cookies and I ate them both. And I fell asleep on the couch and Grant woke me up when he got home around 1 am and really it was just a stellar night.

I know they say that money doesn't bring happiness but I really think that food does.

My Face is On Fire

Oh, hi, hello. Hi there. I'm just sitting here in a sea of kleenex. What are you doing?

I had a fantastic, refreshing, rejuvenation, fun time at the Women's Retreat this weekend... packed with truth and a good Word. Just what I needed.

And then I walked out of that hotel and my face exploded.

The allergies have arrived. They are here with a vengeance.

My allergies are all like "Oh, look, it's finally cool enough for Jen to tolerate being outside and enjoy God's creation with her family! She's gonna bask in the sunlight and celebrate Fall! Let's attack her and make her decide to stay inside till December!"

I sneeze approximately 51 times per hour.

I am super attractive.

I am overdosing on drugs like I'm at a rave in the late 90's. Hard core Zyrtec and snorting that nasal spray like I've hit my rock bottom.

Perhaps I shouldn't have gone to Dewberry Farms today with my family and stood around animals and hay and grass and pastures. It was like Allergy Mecca.

Also, antihistamines make me hungry with a hunger that can not be satisfied.

I'm supposed to be making a grocery list right now so I can go to the store tomorrow with a plan. However, I don't think I can go outside anymore because I am afraid I might die. I want my groceries delivered. And yes, I looked into that grocery delivery service but they don't deliver to my zip code yet (WHY? I live in a highly populated neighborhood in Houston... GET IT TOGETHER INSTACART)

Anyways, I'm gonna go sip on some Benadryl with a straw.

When The Days Aren't Always So Sunny

I'm hopeful. I really am. I always lean towards optimism and positivity. I'm a glass-is-half-full, Pollyanna, look at the bright side kind of girl. I might be this way to a fault as I sometimes live in my own little HappyLand and try my darndest not to let anything filled with sadness into my world. If I read a horrific headline, I choose not to read that article. Sad story on the news? Change the channel. If I'm reading a novel and I get to the end and the author chooses to have the heroine die, I am angry for weeks. Weeks, I tell you. I surround myself with happy people and I purposefully create a little circle of bliss. Yes, bad things happen, yes, I acknowledge them.... but I try to find the humor in everything and I try not to let it affect my day. I just choose joy 90% of the time. 

Unfortunately, sometimes, I can't ignore things. The bubble has burst. Sometimes the pain is so close to you that you can't turn away. I don't know about you, but 2014 has been a very heavy year. Not necessarily for me personally, but for many of my nearest and dearest.... and if my people are hurting, then I am hurting. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy, thankful, and so grateful to walk through life with my friends and family - even the hard seasons - but still, when everything is piled on into one calendar year... it's just heavy. Heavy, heavy, heavy.

I know all of us experience seasons like this. People lose their jobs unexpectedly. Children get sick. Parents get sick. Infertility. Marriages fall apart. Cancer. Diseases. Someone is pregnant one day and then the next day they just aren't anymore. A phone call that changes everything, forever. We all have experienced it or held the hand of someone experiencing it. It's what friendship is, it's what family is. It's what you do. 

What starts to happen though, at least to me, is that a dark cloud comes over my household. Grant tells me that my demeanor has changed. "I'm just sad" I'll say to him. It's not like I walk around crying (although I have my days) but most of the time I just feel heavy and burdened. Again, it's not even "my problem", but I hate when those I love are hurting. And I spend a lot of time asking the Lord for guidance and answers and healing and it's just a different look than my usual, blissfully unaware state of living. 

It also brings fear. Fear of what could happen next. Fear that something more serious is coming. Fear that it could happen to me next. 

But I don't want to be that way. I don't like it. I don't like sitting around and worrying about what news the next text message to pop up on my phone might bring. So how do you choose joy when you can't ignore or get away from the heaviness? How do you smile and play and live a normal life while the elephant in the room is standing there, being very stubborn, and will not leave no matter how much you pray him away?

Trust Him. It is so hard to do sometimes. Trust in God. Trust that His ways are better than Your ways, His thoughts are higher than Your thoughts. Trust that He sees this, He knows, He saw it coming, and He has a plan. He is with you through the fire. He is Sovereign. He exists outside of time and space, He knows the end of this story. He knows the final destination of whatever the issue is that you are facing. Just walk with Him as he guides you down this path, as twisty and confusing as it is.  I remember a song from many years ago that I sing to myself sometimes when I'm panicking:

God is too wise to be mistaken. 

God is too good to be unkind.

So when you don't understand,

When you can't see His plan, 

When you can't trace His hand,

Trust His heart. 

Know that He has plans for You, plans to prosper and not to harm. He is for you, not against. He is love. 

Pray. When you're feeling dark and heavy, pray for peace and hope. Pray for a glimmer of light. Sometimes I feel so burdened that I don't even know how to pray. I don't know what to say or do. "Jesus, please...." is all I can muster at times. But that is enough. Romans 8 says that when we don't know what to pray, the Sprit intercedes for us in groans that words can not express. Your prayers don't have to be well thought out or eloquent. Just pray.

Try not to dwell. Try not to live there in that space, in that sadness. Sometimes, Grant will tell me "we're not going to talk about any of that tonight." Turn it off for a bit. Talk about something else... something other than the junk you're in. Look, I'm not gonna sit here and try to tell you to "think happy thoughts!", but seriously, try to choose joy. Try to find something good everyday. Bring some joy back, somehow, even if it's just for a few minutes.  

And one day, you'll come out on the other side of this season... and you'll have the answer... and maybe it will be the one you want, maybe it won't be... but you will be okay and He can make beauty from ashes. What was meant for evil, He can turn to good.

We are being refined. 

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." - Philippians 4:8

Hello October, It Took You Long Enough

Oh, friends. It's here. October is here.

You know what October means? It means we are pretty certain to have at least one chilly-ish day. I can't wait. I have mentioned before that I feel like I am more attractive in clothes that are more covering, so I am ready for the boost of self-esteem that cooler temps bring to my everyday life. There are darling outfit combinations in my closet that have been crying out to be worn since February.

Also, I haven't gotten the Fall decorations down from the attic yet, but I did throw some pumpkins on the mantle.

Tonight, Grant and I had a lovely little dinner conversation. We discussed one of those hypothetical, never-gonna-happen scenarios... I asked him the following:

If you could take 3 trips in the next year, the first being within your state, the next being within your country, and the next being somewhere internationally, where would you go?

(Fair warning: this conversation topic will undoubtedly lead to you looking at flight costs online.)

His answer:

In Texas: Some small town somewhere that we haven't heard of
In America: Boston
Internationally: Ireland, Scotland, or "somewhere with cliffs that I can play golf"

My answer:

In Texas: Round Top
In America: Washington DC or something historical (I've got a bit of a history bug lately... I need to go to museums or historical places that have been around since before 1900. I'm weird.) Or, on a totally different playing field... Los Angeles.
Internationally: LONDON (again, my need for somewhere with a lot of history)

In case you're wondering, flights in November to Boston on United are actually quite reasonable!

Anyways, it was a fun conversation over a delicious meal cooked by Grant and it was a fun little journey across the world. We spent a lot of time on Google Maps!

So where would you go?