Thursday, January 8, 2015

A Moment to Myself and Starbucks Chronicles

I was taking Ellie to school this morning when another car on the freeway would not move his fat butt because he was on his phone, making it impossible for me to exit at the moment I needed to exit. I said "REALLY!??!?" and then smacked my steering wheel. Then I said "SHOOT!" as I passed the exit, and realized that the turnaround route I needed to take was going to be filled with traffic.  As I passed the idiot driver that caused my frustration, I looked at him through the window and shouted "THANKS, BUDDY!" as I passed him.

Meanwhile, Ellie's in the backseat, watching my little childish temper tantrum, saying "What's wrong, Mommy? Mommy, what you doing? Mommy you okay?"


We got there on time and I just had a tiny little moment of road rage. People don't need to be driving 30 miles an hour on a freeway right where I need to be merging. Okay? Okay.

I guess I was just a little rushed this morning because I had a very important appointment I needed to be at, and by "appointment" I mean sitting at a table at Starbucks by myself while writing and listening to music in my earphones and drinking coffee.

IT'S ELLIE'S FIRST DAY BACK AT SCHOOL! They've been off for the holidays, and even before that she was sick for the last week of school so I have plenty of errands to run and things to get accomplished, but first I needed a little moment to myself. I'm enjoying being out of the house but also chilling at the same time. I'm writing and reading and just calming and not having anyone ask me a question or for a snack and that is a treasure. I'll be sharing a little of what I observe here in this Starbucks, because I absolutely love people watching in environments like this. The Starbucks Chronicles will be typed in italics. 

A little boy just walked past me with his mom and that child has been BATHED IN ESSENTIAL OILS. I'm gonna go home smelling like Thieves. Oh my goodness, that mama is marinating her kid in the oils. 

One of the girl baristas here tooootttally has a crush on one of the guy baristas and it seems pretty blatantly obvious to everyone here but him. She is turning up the flirt machine more and more every minute and he is oblivious. 

I put this on the Facebook page last night, but I put on quite a song and dance production during dinner yesterday. As many of you already know, I have a child that refuses to eat hardly anything. Last night, I put 4 chicken nuggets on her plate. I told her she couldn't have anything else until she ate all 4 nuggets. I also told her if she ate all 4 she could have a cookie. Also, she could play a new game that we hadn't opened yet. So she had to eat 4 nuggets to get one side item, one cookie, and one game. 

This, my friends, is what you call bribery. I'm just gonna sit here and own that. 

She took one bite, and I made a big deal out of it, clapping and cheering. She likes to be applauded, and she likes it when I act like a fool. So, I decided to up the ante. Every time she took a bite, I sang Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off" while dancing like a maniac. If she stopped chewing, I stopped dancing. She caught on quickly. It took about 30 minutes total, but she ate all 4 nuggets and I was EXHAUSTED and I'm sure I looked like an absolute idiot. All in the name of nutrition!

There is a job interview going on next to me. The interviewer is a loud talker, and the interviewee is essentially silent and is making zero impression whatsoever. He is just nodding and such and Loud Talker is asking questions and Silent Man is basically just responding with "probably" and elaborative words like that. I don't think this is going to end well for him.

That girl barista just told the boy barista that she likes his face with a little bit of scruff and he looks handsome today. He said "yeah, I meant to shave this morning...but I ran out of time." It's like, not only did he not take the compliment, he also did not even realize that a compliment was being given to him. Do you think I should pass him a note?

 College kids standing in line are taking selfies instead of ordering. The barista looks super annoyed, and rightfully so.

Quick question for you mamas out there.... I'm going to start potty training Ellie in the next few weeks (WORDS CAN NOT ADEQUATELY EXPRESS HOW NERVOUS I AM ABOUT THIS) - and I have some logistical questions... is it absolutely pertinent that she be in a big girl bed to begin this adventure? Ellie is still in a crib and I didn't plan on putting her in a bed until she started trying to climb out (she hasn't yet) or until we needed the crib for a new baby (which also isn't happening yet) so I would really rather not put her in a toddler/big girl bed just yet. However, is it pointless to start this if she's still in a crib and can't get up to use the potty? Thoughts? Suggestions? 

College kid just said to other college kid "Kim liked our selfie on Instagram!" and the other guy said "Score!"

Suggestions on the crib/bed situation are much appreciated :) 

Have a wonderful day, my friends!


  1. In my opinion, day training and night training are two separate entities, and progress from one to the other depends on your kid. They can be trained all day and still need a pull-up at night for a loooong time. (Not going to name names because you used to babysit my kids, but one of them only finally was night-traed when it looked like her younger sister was going to be completely trained before her

  2. Okay, I entered too many characters in the last one and couldn't edit my typos, sorry about that, but I also want to say that, though I am far beyond the toddler stage, your wonderful stories are still so entertaining and quite nostalgic! Thanks for sharing your life with us!

  3. I agree with your friend Amy who stated day and night training are two separate things. Since you have embraced the bribery, I recommend continuing with the dramatics and bribery for potty training! The first day is frustrating but it actually ends up being quite fun once they get the hang of it. You'll get through it!

  4. I agree that it may not be necessary, but you might mentally prepare yourself for anything :)

    My oldest did the day thing okay, but slept in a pull-up forever. For like another year and a half. Bennie caught on to the potty and decided he was never wearing another diaper again, so he day & night trained at the same time. He was already three though. And generally paves his own way...

    Good luck! Can't wait to hear about your adventures in potty-training Ellie.