Thursday, February 19, 2009

A Letter to Nabisco

Dear Nabisco,

I have been a long time customer of your snacked goods. Your honey-flavored Teddy Grams, Nilla Wafers, and Ritz Crackers are staples in my ever-so-healthy diet. Honestly, when you introduced me to Double-Stuffed Oreos, my life changed forever. And it changed for the better.
But today I am writing to express to you my concern and downright dissapointment in some of your newer products: The 100 Calorie Packs.

I understand your plight to jump aboard the "Healthy Snack" train, but honestly, you are compromising the caliber and quality of your snacks. My friends, when I decide to eat some Chips Ahoy cookies (sidenote: Why the name Chips Ahoy?! Are we going sailing with our cookies?) - I expect those cookies to look like this:
However, when I tear open your 100 calorie pack of Chips Ahoy in my quest for something filling, I find these wafer-like bite-sized things that do not resemble a cookie in anyway.


More importantly, each 100 Calorie Pack holds approximately 4 of these wafer-like baked snappy things.

I usually end up eating a 100 calorie pack when I am at work and need a little boost between lunch and dinner. A 100 Calorie Pack would be a logical solution to my need for some munchies. But, due to the immense wave of unsatisfaction that I feel after eating my four wafers, I end up just busting out a Rice Krispy Treat or a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos to end the hunger. Or maybe even a bag of Movie Theatre Butter popcorn.

Do you see the problem here, Nabisco? Your product is faulty and fails to serve its purpose. While I appreciate you looking out for my health, I never asked you to do that.

These are not Oreos!! They don't even taste like Oreos!! You are being deceitful!


And I am still mega hungry after I eat them!

If you have to have more than 100 calories in a pack to give me a real Oreo, than so be it.

It is the same feeling I get when McDonald's doesn't give me all ten Chicken McNuggets. Liars and cheats.

Thank you for your time. And thank you again for the Easy Cheese.

Sincerely,

9 comments:

  1. hahahaha!! You crack me up. Eating a 100 caolorie pack leaves me wanting about 5 more 100 calorie packs. And you are right, those are so not oreos.....

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  2. I think you are the funniest person I know.

    And no, those oreos, are NOT oreos at all.

    However, now the confession comes: I thouroughly enjoy the 100 calorie packs. And I don't know why. I guess I have MADE myself love them since they are the "healthier" thing to eat.

    Either way, I love you and you shoud send this to Nabisco.

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  3. only you...

    ...right on, friend.

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  4. Preach it sista! Can't stand the stuff. Total waste.

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  5. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    I like the "OFF" 100 calorie packs! They tend to taste more like real cookies and crackers!

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  6. Too funny, Jen! I recently tried the 100 calorie oreo cakesters and had the same response...disapointment for sure...I'd rather just have a piece of fruit. Thanks for the laugh....very creative!

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  7. You Crack me up! I can just HEAR you saying all those things in person. I'm right with you. If I decide to eat cookies why would I want them under 100 calories? I am eating them for the taste! DUH!

    Love you!

    Em

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