Thursday, January 29, 2015

And Not a Single Book Was Read That Day

First things first: Let's take care of some administrative business. I've gone and jacked everything up and people are emailing me and telling me I'm messing with their feeds, or something like that. All you need to know is, I got all fancy and got a new domain name. Because of this, those of you that follow my blog on Feedly or Bloglovin or things like that are no longer subscribed to this here little blog. So this is my PSA to let you know that you need to change your subscription. is the new address for So.Many.Words.

Look, I'll even give you some little Linkies.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

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And while we're at it (we're almost done with the admin stuff, I promise) here's the other social media places you can find me:


Okay, that's done. Moving right along with the things and the words.

I thought I'd share what happened yesterday in a little moment of life I'd like to call "Unrealistic Expectations."

I had just finished my coffee and was in a great mood. My little munchkin was in a Cinderella dress and twirling around. I realized I had absolutely nothing on the calendar and decided I needed to come up with something for us to do, or else we would end up staying in the house all day and achieving nothing productive whatsoever.

I decided we should take a little trip to the local library. In my mind, I envisioned sitting on a comfy chair, with Ellie in my lap, reading book after book after book. On the drive to the library, I made sure to spend some time talking to Ellie about quiet voices in libraries. She understood and even began whispering to me as we got out of the car.

"We at da li-bary, Mommy. We beeeee quiet, okay, Mommy? You understand?"

We walked in, and I didn't know quite what to expect in the children's area as I had never been to this particular branch before.


It wasn't so much a library as a Kid Crack zone.

Toys. Puzzles. Touch screen computers.

No one was reading books.

Everyone was loud.

I should've just left then and there.

My Ellie girl seemed very pleased with this little playground I had brought her to. There were AT LEAST 20 kids in this little area and she was fully on board with shoving her way into whatever she felt like she was entitled to do. Puzzle? Mine. Toy with all the buttons? Mine. Touch screen computer? Out of my way, kid. I'm here now, so it's time for you to go.

It was the polar opposite of peaceful. I tried to show her the books. She just started yelling "NO! NO!" and started pulling them off of the shelves, one by one. Then she would run up and down the book aisles saying "THE LI-BARY! THE LI-BARY!"

I finally admitted defeat to this particular battle and decided to give her a minute at a computer. Oh, let's touch every single button and yank on every cord and put our sticky fingers on every surface and bang as loud as I can while yelling MY COMPUTAH! MY COMPUTAH!" Error messages popped up on the screen faster than I could fix the issue she was creating.

I looked up to see a line of people waiting for a computer. I calmly whispered to Ellie that we had a lot of fun at the computer (or we possibly broke it beyond repair) and sweetly picked her up to pull her from the chair.

Arched back.

Shrill scream.

She plunged from my arms, did a handstand onto the ground and then promptly collapsed into a screaming ball of high drama.

I IMMEDIATELY said "Okay, that's it, we're leaving.."

I tried to pick her up but she wouldn't allow it. I ended up carrying her, screaming as loud as I've ever heard her scream (perhaps it was the high ceilings of the library lobby that really boosted the volume?) while holding onto her right arm and her right leg. Everything else just dangled.

Oh, the judgy eyes that I felt upon me.

I took her outside. We sat on the bench.

"Look at Mommy. ELLIE. ELLIE PAIGE. Look at Mommy. Look at my eyes. Okay. Listen. Calm down. Listen. We are at the library. The library is for books. You need to obey. We had to let someone else use the computer. If you don't be sweet, we don't get to go to places like the library. You need to be sweet and obey."

"No! No, I not be sweet! I NOT BE SWEET, I NOT OBEY TODAY, MOMMY. GO IN DA LI-BARY, MOMMY! GO. TO. LI. BA. RY. Mommy! Okay? You understand?!"

So it was at that moment that I marched her little behind to the car and buckled that girl in and cancelled that whole little excursion. We won't be going back for 3 or 36 months.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

I Am Now Officially Obsessed with Fixer Upper

Oh, hi.

Do you watch Fixer Upper? It's on HGTV. And I am a tad little bit obsessed with that show and those people. I've been thinking about it all morning, and I've decided that my obsession can be divided into two categories. Let's discuss.

Category 1. Chip and Joanna Gaines

Chip and Joanna Gaines are the hosts of HGTV's Fixer Upper and they are just seventeen kinds of darling. They're funny and sweet and they really seem to love one another and their children. (Her girls are always wearing Matilda Jane, by the way, and as a sister to a trunk keeper I very much appreciate that!)

I love that this show doesn't take itself as seriously as other decorating shows and the hosts are playful and we see some of their silliness. They are warm and I am obsessed with everything that the woman wears.

(Hold that thought. I'll be right back. Apparently my child requires a banana AND a peanut butter waffle while she watches Paw Patrol.)

Okay, I'm back from immediately meeting the demands of a 2.5 year old.

Anyways, I just really, really like them and I feel like we could all go out for Mexican food and share a big bowl of queso together and we would just laugh and laugh and laugh.

After I started really getting into this show, I started following Chip and Joanna on Twitter. It's what I do. When I like a celebrity I follow them on Twitter. I follow the entire cast of Scandal, for example. Anyways, Chip and Joanna were live tweeting the show last night, and at one point she tweeted about how she's trying to bring back the wide leg jeans. I rarely actually tweet to celebrities, but I decided to respond to this one because I have passionate feelings about skinny jeans being gone for forever. I responded to her tweet and then this happened:

Joanna Gaines favorited my tweet. I'd like to say that I am well aware that the woman probably "favorites" every tweet sent her way, but still, I geeked out just a bit. It's like the time that I tweeted about a plot line I did not care for on Scandal and then Shonda Rhimes, the creator of Scandal, actually responded to my tweet. I did not remain calm.

(Shameless plug: if you're on Twitter, you can follow me there at @jennydawntx)

Anyhoo, I just love Chip and Joanna. They are just full of preciousness and fun.  And did I mention they're in Texas? And I love Texas?

Category 2. The Homes

I do not have an artistic eye. I see an ugly house, and in my mind, it will probably stay an ugly house. What these people are capable of doing is just astounding. I think what floors me the most is what they can do to the exterior of the home. Some of these houses are UG. LY. and they change the paint and add some wooden posts and put in a new door and do something fancy with the shutters, and VOILA! I want to live there, just like that.

They make smart choices and their design is always so fresh and clean without being too sterile and unlivable, if you know what I mean.

It also makes me feel like I might need to move to Waco someday, as they can build these mega beautiful homes and list them for, oh I don't know... $150,000. Meanwhile, that exact same house here in Houston would be, oh I don't know, 1.2 million. I don't really have any attachments or interest in living in Waco but their home prices are quite wonderful.

Do you watch this show? Do you love them?

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Don't Make it Funny

My default reaction to things is to make it funny. Feeling sad? Make it funny. Something tick you off? Make it funny. Busy and stressed? Find a joke in there. There's one in there, somewhere.

This method of operation really does help me find the joy in life and prevents me from taking myself or other things too seriously. Of course, I get angry, and of course, some things just aren't funny. But, in general, I try to find the sunny side. And the sunny side sometimes includes some sarcasm or self-deprecation or the like. I enjoy making people laugh, and I enjoy making myself laugh. Believe me, I make myself laugh much more than I make others laugh. I geek out from time to time.

Some good things have been happening lately.  I can't talk about most of it just yet. They are overwhelmingly positive and I feel like I'm being showered with blessings. Yes, I'm still waiting on the Lord's timing in certain areas of life, but I can not deny that things are moving and shaking in 2015 and I am just delighted.

After reflecting on all the exciting things coming up in the next few weeks and months, I realized that I was searching for a joke somewhere in there. But then I stopped myself.

 Don't make it funny, Jenny.

Stop trying to make everything funny.

Okay, I won't make it funny.

So, what's my next default? PANIC. I can easily allow myself to get panicked with all the changes. Everything is turning upside down and backwards, and this kind of stuff tends to make me freeze in place. I could talk about how I'm gonna hide under the covers and hyperventilate, and that would make it funny. Or I could decide to be overwhelmed and focus all my energies on how stressed and flustered I am all the time.

Not this time. I'm choosing not to do that. I'm choosing joy and gratitude. I'm thankful.

I'm choosing not to panic. I'm choosing to not make it funny.

Just soak it up,
without the jokes, Jenny.

Don't cheapen it all by twisting it around to get a laugh.

Just call it what it is. Blessing.

Monday, January 26, 2015

Monday Morning Madness

I don't have much time to write this morning. We have an appointment in a few hours and my whole morning routine has been thrown off because a very defiant little toddler girl has decided to throw not one, not two, but THREE epic fits before 9am this morning. It has been an old-fashioned stand off and MAMA IS WINNING. 

Look, I believe that children are our future and we should teach them well and let them lead the way. However, there are circumstances where we must intervene because the way they are leading us will result in head injuries. Ellie does not appreciate my parenting methods from time to time but that's just the way that's gonna go. Sorry about it. 

In a quick recap, we really did have a great weekend. The potty training adventure went so much better than I expected. No accidents in several days. She's a rock star. We got a new family member as a reward. 

Meet Gill. 

He is a beta fish that cost approximately six American dollars. We let Ellie choose his decor, which of course she chose the pink rocks. Gill doesn't seem to be too thrilled with us but he's just gonna have to accept the fact that his adoption into our family was contingent upon someone pooping in a potty. 

For the record, she chose the name Gill because of Gill from the Bubble Guppies. However, I only allowed this name selection because of Gill from What About Bob and the fact that I can say "Good Morning Gill... I SAID, GOOD MORNING, GILL!" to him every morning. It will be a great way to start my day. 

Otherwise, our weekend consisted of hanging out with our friends Tiffany and Justin and Ricky and Ellie played with toys and got to go to the park and go down a slide about 723 times.

She loves him so much.

Also, last night, we were finishing up dinner and Ellie noticed Grant's headphones laying on the table. She picked them up and asked me if it was spaghetti. We told her you put them in your ears. She put it up to her ears and said "Listen for the beep!", thinking it was a thermometer.

Grant decided to start some music. She found this to be quite delightful.

Then she became little DJ Ellie and started demanding songs. "Play Let it Go, Daddy. DADDY! Play Shake it Off!" 

She is so very full of opinions and demands. Which is why right now I have to quit writing because she is standing next to me telling me to play golf with her. I'm not quite sure what this means. 

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Checking in From Day 2

Okay, I'm not going to go into details. People don't really enjoy reading about a random toddler's adventure into learning to use a potty.

All I will say is, it has been overwhelmingly positive around here. It's Day 2 and she had zero accidents today, with the exception of one major one right before bed. And it was the worst kind of accident if you know what I mean. But otherwise, she's a rock star and she's my favorite and I'm just mega proud of her.

But enough about that.....

I've been trapped here for 2 days now and I've been pretty bored. So I'm asking you to entertain me. I'm asking questions. I want answers. Seriously, answer my questions. Whether it's in the comments section or on Facebook... entertain me so I have something to read tomorrow while I'm trapped here on Day 3. Please. I beg you.

1. What did you have for lunch today?

2. When do you put on pajamas? After dinner? Or right before you go to bed?

3. What was the first concert you went to?

4. If you were going to just totally own a karaoke performance, what song would you sing? (For the record, mine is and always will be "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" by Celine Dion. There are moments of gold. There are flashes of light.)

5. Coke or Pepsi? And if your answer is Pepsi, why do you choose awful things?

THANK YOU FOR YOUR KINDNESS. Now I can read something tomorrow while I'm under house arrest for Day 3. As a thank you, here's a funny:

Now go answer my questions. Thank ya. :)

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Tomorrow is the Day

It is with great fear and trepidation that I must tell you all that tomorrow morning I am beginning the oh-so-joyous task of potty training my child.

I usually shy away from potty training topics and the like on social media, but I must let you know, in the event that I'm not blogging, what will be happening in this house for the next few days.

A book I read says that I have to enter into this displaying "the 5 C's." I must be:

1. Cool
2. Calm
3. Collected
4. Confident
5. Committed

Right now I am

1. Nervous
2. Anxious
3. Frazzled
4. Insecure
5. Wavering

We're 0 for 5, folks.

I do think she is ready. I think I am not ready.

Who knows? Maybe tomorrow she'll surprise me and be a potty training champ. Or, maybe I'll end up sobbing on the kitchen floor while holding a spray bottle of carpet cleaner and repeating "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" over and over again......

This is what I do know:

1. I have stickers
2. I have mini M&M's
3. I have a Minnie Mouse potty chair
4. I have Minnie Mouse panties
5. I have Bubble Guppies panties
6. I have pull-ups for night time
7. I am not going anywhere for several days
8. I have girlfriends that are just a text message away to give me hope or peace or allow me to send them crazy, panicked gifs

I think she will grasp the concept. I also think there is a high chance that she will understand what I want her to do, while also deciding to just not care and avoid the potty at all costs just as a way to be uncooperative. She likes to be uncooperative from time to time.

The one thing I have going for me is that she really, really doesn't like messes. If she spills a drop of water on herself she panics. "MOMMY! GET A MAPKIN! A MAPKIN, MOMMY, HURRY! NEW PANTS, MOMMY, NEW PANTS!"

The drama is high.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

I Just Ran a Half Marathon and Here's How I Feel About All That

We kinda decided to do it on a whim. It was always about the cause, not the race. Back in April 2014, we found out that my dad has mild to moderate Parkinson's Disease. We were surprised and immediately started learning all we could about it, as we pretty much knew about Michael J. Fox and that's where it stopped. But Dad doesn't have the same symptoms as Michael J. Fox.... every patient is different and it's been fascinating to learn what works for some people and the new technologies and medications they are coming out with to combat Parkinson's Disease. 

Anyways, in the immediate weeks after the diagnosis, my family and I were researching and trying to see if there was anything we could do to help fight this disease. It slowly progresses, but it does progress. Thankfully, my Dad has found a treatment that has helped him feel better than he has felt in 5 years. It's amazing and we are so thankful for the people who fight so hard to find a cure. As we looked online to see if there was anything we could do, my sisters and I found that the Houston Area Parkinson Society was holding registration for the Chevron Houston Half-Marathon and Marathon. If you raise money for HAPS, you get a spot in the race without having to participate in the lottery. Jaclyn and I talked about it... maybe we could do the half-marathon? Maybe we could try? We could raise money and support Dad and also maybe do something athletic for the first time in our lives? 

My sweet sister Shannon had to support us in spirit as she has had 3 foot surgeries so running 13.1 miles just wasn't going to be an option for her. There were days in this process that I have been jealous of her foot surgeries, I'm just going to say that right now. I should also note that my sweet Grantley was supposed to run with us but about 2 weeks ago while training he started having a knee problem that he just couldn't shake. He deferred to next year and is determined to make it happen in 2016. 

Anyways, we raised our money and got our official registration in place and started training for a 13.1 mile race.

13.1 miles.

A few things you should know about me:

1. At the beginning of this, I could not run 1 mile. Not one. 

2. I am not a runner.

3. I don't think I owned a sports bra.

4. I have never played any kind of team sport.

5. I like to sing and act and dance. I do not like cardio-focused activities or sweating.

So really, I had a lot going for me. 

Not only have I never run a race of any kind, I have never even attended a race of any kind. Never been to one. Had no idea what to expect.

Jaclyn and I met in a Target parking lot at 5:30am this morning (the Target is fitting for us) and drove ourselves downtown to run a half-marathon. You know what else is fun? It's her birthday! If I had my act together I would've had a gift to greet her with this morning but I just wasn't firing on all cylinders at this point as I woke up at 4:45am FOR THE LOVE.

We drove down there, parked, walked ourselves into the convention center and immediately started to laugh. This is just so foreign to us. We didn't really know what to do or where to go. Thankfully, the entire event was very well organized and you really couldn't miss where you were supposed to be. 

As we walked out to our corral, we just kept laughing at the ridiculousness of what we were doing. "What is happening? How is this our life? Are we about to do this?!?"

Here I am with the birthday girl, at the crack of dawn, waiting for the race to start. And yawning.

Finally, we started moving towards the start line (we were in the back of the pack) and I was just FLOORED at the amount of people at this event. Between the marathon, the half-marathon, and the 5k, there were thousands and thousands of people. It was amazing. 

The race started and we kinda giggled and started running. 

One thing that was so fun was all of the people and all of the signs. Random strangers cheering us on by name (our bibs had our name on it) and entertaining us with their creative sign of encouragement. 

I always run with music in my ears, but this race I decided to just take out the earphones and just take it all in. So many places along the way had loud music playing (Taylor Swift! Uptown Funk! Justin Timberlake!) live bands on the side of the road, and even bagpipes and a marching band. 

A few of my favorite signs:

"You can do it, Random Stranger!"
"Smile if you peed a little!"
"It was really hard for me to make this sign, you can run a few more miles!"
"Hurry up, Mommy, we're hungry!"
"You trained for this longer than Kim Kardashian was married."
"You're running a half-marathon. Chuck Norris never ran a half-marathon. You > Chuck Norris."
"Run Faster, Meow." (I always appreciate a good Super Troopers reference)
"Your feet hurt because you're kicking so much ass!"
"Run like your phone has 1% battery!"
"Sorry, but you still have a really long way to go!"

They were so funny. And they would cheer and clap and it was all just so fun.

Here I am around mile 5ish, when I first saw my people. I was trying to get Ellie to smile.

Poor Ellie. She was so confused. She couldn't find me and she hadn't eaten and it was early. Here she is with her Daddy and her donut hole and her Mickey Mouse and she was just SOBBING when I saw her. It was hard to leave her! 

Thankfully, they got some food and some chocolate milk in her, and the next time I saw her (mile 9, I think?) she had a much happier reaction!

It really was so encouraging to see my people every few miles. Jaclyn is like the wind and ran way ahead of me pretty quickly. That girl is a rock star.

Another thing I'd like to note is that I AM THANKFUL FOR SNACKS.

People watching the race kept offering snacks and I TOOK EVERY SINGLE THING THEY OFFERED ME.

You brought food here? YES, PLEASE!
I had pretzels.

I had a Snickers (the fun size!)

I had gummy bears. The guy handing them out was just handing out gummy bears in Dixie Cups so I did have to ask him if they were safe. "Do these have Vodka in them? I hear people are doing that nowadays." 

"No, but that would've made it more fun, huh?"

I enjoyed my snacks and my Gatorade. One couple even stood there handing out paper towels which I thought was brilliant since I was so sweaty and my nose was running.

Really, I was just the picture of beauty. 

The race itself went well. It could not have been a more beautiful day.  I was tempted to walk a few times, but I just kept telling myself that the sooner I completed each mile, the sooner this would be over and I could sit down. Out of the 13.1 miles, I probably walked about a half mile of it, total. Also, all I cared about was finishing so I had no expectations or goals as far as time or pace was concerned. The last few miles were very hard. I saw some friends of mine a little after mile 12 (THE LONGEST MILE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD) who hollered to me that I only had 6 more blocks! 

I picked up my speed and when I saw that finish line I got a little overwhelmed with joy because I just really wanted it to be done. I heard my name as I approached the Finish and saw my people again, cheering me on.

Honestly, I still can't believe that I did it.


That means there were people that completed 26.2 miles well before I could hammer out 13.1. I never claimed to be fast, y'all!

I crossed the finish line at 2 hours, 37 minutes and I ran an average 12:03/mile. Like I said, I was barely making it, people.

After the race, I got my medal because apparently I'm like an athlete or something, and then I met up with my family at the HAPS tent in Charity Village.

Here we are with the man of the hour.

We were so proud to do this, and I know he was proud of us too. 

Afterwards, we all went together and with some other friends who ran to Pappasitos to eat queso because that's what you do.

It was during this meal that both Ellie and I started to crash. 

We got home and I took a shower and blow dried my hair and GOT MYSELF INTO THE BED. We all napped and when I woke up and I had so many sweet text messages from friends and family. 

I especially liked this exchange with my darling Tiffany:

She gets me. Anyways, it was truly an awesome experience and I am so, so glad we did it. It was a blessing and I can't believe I did it (I would've NEVER thought I could) and I feel accomplished and tired and everything hurts and I'm dying. 

Seriously, this evening I laid on my couch and Ellie and I played a game called "pretend Mommy is asleep." Basically she just put a blanket on me over and over again and told me to go night night. Best game ever.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Every Night at 7pm

It takes a little bit of rallying to get her to the tub. It's not that she doesn't like to take baths, it's just that she doesn't want to stop what she's doing. But, eventually, I get her there. If she ate all of her dinner, she gets a bubble bath. She stands there and watches the water and jumps up and down as she chants for the bubbles to be poured in. If she had a bad night (food-wise), I'll explain to her that she does not get bubbles tonight because she did not eat all of her dinner.

"Ellie didn't eat chicken, Mommy?"

"No, Ellie did not eat chicken."

"Yeah, Ellie can't want chicken for dinner today, Mommy."

I love how she says she "can't want" things instead of "don't want." If I am trying to get her to try something new, often she will exclaim, "I CAN'T! I CAN'T WANT IT!" It thrills my heart to no end.

Into the tub she goes. We dump a bunch of toys into the water and she plays, almost ignoring me as I scrub her hair and her back and her arms. All I have to do is say, "hand" and she sticks her arm up at me, still busy playing with her other hand as I scrub up and down. I drop the hand and then say "other hand, please" as she lifts up her other hand to allow me to scrub. She never really makes eye contact in the bath. After her hair is rinsed, I let her play for a few more minutes, depending on how late it is or how tired I am.

She helps clean up the toys as we sing "Clean up, Clean up, Everybody, Everywhere..." and then she stands up and uses the cup to pour water into the toy basket. I have no idea why she likes doing this, but it's one of her favorite things.

I pull her out of the tub (usually against her wishes) and we say "Warm, warm, warm" together as I wrap her in the towel. Next, she scampers into her room as I put on a fresh diaper and fresh pajamas. She can hardly contain her excitement to run into her bathroom and stand on the stool. She stands up, and eagerly awaits the toothbrush and toothpaste. This is always a hit or miss part of the evening. Sometimes she waves it around too much and the toothpaste falls off of the toothbrush. Sometimes she tries to brush and ends up brushing her lips or her nose. She is reluctant to allow me to help her. Most of the time she does a so-so job at brushing her teeth while I brush her hair. I marvel at how long it really is when it's wet and she doesn't have her famous curls. I tell her to "brush the top" and "brush the bottom"... reminding her to brush her top and bottom teeth... normally she responds with "I just brush my tongue." We're learning, folks.

After she's all brushed up, she runs to find her Daddy and gives him a big hug. We all go back to her room while we read a few books. I limit the books to 3 or we will be here all night. We read the books and she points at things and wants me to say what they are, even if she already knows. She'll correct me if I say the wrong thing.

"What's that, Mommy?"
"It's a bird."
"No, it's not a bird."
"Yep, that's a bird."
"No, Mommy, that's a parrot."

Well, then.

 If she asks for it, we rock for a few minutes. ("I have to rock, Mommy."

 I sing songs at her request. "Twinka Twinka, Mommy?" "Tender Shepherd, Mommy?" "Ellie song, Mommy?"

That's the one I've been singing to her since she was a baby... to the tune of the Mickey Mouse Club theme song.

Who's the sweetest baby girl you ever did see?
E-L-L-I-E, P-A-I-G-E!
Ellie Paige (that's you!)
Ellie Paige (that's you!)
She is the sweetest baby girly, girly
Who's the sweetest baby girl you ever did see?
E-L-L-I-E, P-A-I-G-E!

I lower her into the crib, and she gets super hyper at this point. She grabs bunny and blanket and paci and demands that we say prayers. She folds her hands, and sometimes takes bunny and folds bunny's hands as well. Daddy prays. We pray for our friends and our family, we thank God for the fun things we got to do that day and the food we got to eat and the things that were provided for us. We ask that God helps us to stay healthy and have a good night's sleep. "Good night's sleep" is always the last part of the prayer, and she knows that. As soon as we say "good night's sleep", she automatically starts in with the in-unison ending... "In Jesus' Name we pray, Ayyyyyyy-men."

Then, she flops herself down onto her belly. "Nug is a bug in a wug, Mommy!"

I drape her blanket over her, and tuck the sides into her little body as I say, "SNUG as a BUG in a RUG!"

She giggles. I say goodnight. She YELLS goodnight. I turn on the white noise machine and turn off the light. She normally asks for one more hug and kiss. We go back in the room, hug and kiss her, and then I have to do "Snug as a bug in a rug" all over again. I don't mind.

I don't mind any of it.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Golden Globes 2015: Red Carpet Recap

I went to dinner with some girlfriends tonight. Before I left the house, I watched an hour of the E! Red Carpet special while getting ready and taking copious notes. I set the DVR to record the rest of the red carpet arrivals, and then I set the DVR to record the Golden Globe Awards. Then, I went to eat Italian food with my friends. I had cheese tortellini and we had a wonderful time (like we always do) (cause we're awesome like that) (WHAT'S UP, LADIES?!!) and then I said my goodnights. I told them I had an award show to watch and a blog to write.


So after I had a little moment about that, I thankfully found Tina & Amy's (awesome) opening monologue (the Clooney joke was my favorite) on YouTube and then did some reading on who won everything. I am beyond disappointed that I don't get to watch the show, but I am thankful for the World Wide Web and all that it provides for a gal like me who just wants to eat Cheese Tortellini with her friends from time to time. 

Now, without further adieu, I am thrilled to do my first Red Carpet Recap of 2015!!!

Jen and Justin, looking very sleek.

Look, it goes without saying that Emma is my hair role model. And I love the top to this.... dress? Pantsuit? I'm a little confused. But she is kind of darling all the time. HAIR. ROLE. MODEL. 

Okay, her hair is fabulous. The dress looked a little like leather on TV. I'm not sure. 

Welcome to the red carpet, Mrs. Clooney! I have high hopes for you. I expected you in red tonight, for some reason. And, I expected your hair up. I did not expect the white gloves. All in all, this is pretty but it's a little dated, maybe? Regardless, she's beautiful. 

For the life of me, I do not understand what is happening here. Did she get this from someone on Etsy?

Amy Adams always makes great choices. I loved this color... would we call it periwinkle? I also liked the back, it had a lovely little embellishment where the dress gathered. Really lovely detail.

 Just once I'd like for her to choose a dress that is a little more tailored. Her eyes look very pretty!

Oh, the beautiful people. SO. PRETTY. 

Julianne Moore wore a mirror this evening.

This picture would be even better if Jim Halpert were next to her. 

 This looks like melted crayons.

A gorgeous red dress paired with a belt from Forever 21. 

(Side note, she was there as a date with Kevin Spacey. Did we know this? Are they together? Is that weird?) Update: Thank you, Tim, for pointing out that they are co-stars on House of Cards. This makes this much less weird. 

Mr. McConaughey has chosen a hunter green velvet jacket. Merry Christmas, y'all!

MAJOR EDIT! Thank you to my friend, Mina, who let me know that this image is from LAST YEAR! This is what happens when I don't watch the show and I have to trust the internet, people. Sigh. Anyways, here's the real pic of Mr. and Mrs. McConaughey from the year 2015.

My thoughts: a) please shave b) she is gorgeous c) she needs more jewelry. 

Moving on!

First and foremost, I'd like to take a moment and acknowledge the fact that this dear woman had a baby mere WEEKS ago and chose this dress with all the skin and all the cutouts and all the parts of it that are not pajama pants, which was my uniform weeks after having a baby. Sister is straight up BRAVE. She looks beautiful. Her earrings were just about some of the prettiest I've ever seen.  I will say, however, that I feel like somehow it didn't fit her just quite right. I feel a very strong urge to hoist up the girls. 

Loooove her dress. Love. Elegant. And he ain't so hard to look at, either.

Okay, it goes without saying that I love and adore them. Also, I loved their opening monologue dresses much better than these dresses. I'm not quite sure what I mean by this, but Tina's dress looks like a blend of several things you'd see on a Pinterest wedding inspiration board. 

He's wearing a NAHVY BLUE TUXAHDO! 


CALM DOWN, J LO. It's just the Golden Globes. And you're just presenting. This is a lot of activity and a lot of drama and a lot of your chest region. I mean we're all very proud of how well you're aging but this is just a lot happening.

This is Zosia. I still do not know who she is, but I remember her from last year. I'd like to give her a gold star as this year is a vast improvement. 

If you don't remember what I'm talking about, here's Zosia wearing a leather mustache on her coconuts at the 2013 Emmy Awards:

This is darling Ellie Kemper and this is a lovely dress! The back was even prettier. 

Reese (who looks like my friend, Rachel) is just flawless here. Absolutely flawless. It's simple and perfect. 

This is Lorde who sings "Royals". This ensemble makes me feel like she should be cast as a villain in a sci-fi thriller for young adults. Her name would be Danika Triton or something along those lines. 

 This is Kelsey Grammer's daughter and she is Miss Golden Globes 2015. Lovely dress, my dear!

Melissa. I love you forever. I adore you. But to this dress, I say no. Just.... no. 

I loved her jewelry, especially her bracelets. 

I don't really know who this is, but when Giuliana was interviewing her, I wrote down in my notes "I want her skin". That sounds a little creepy, now that I type it out. Seriously though, beautiful skin!

Savannah! I adore her. That blue is a great color!

I don't know who this is and I don't know what is happening. Is she a character in Star Wars?

This looks like a tablecloth. 

Beautiful dress on Kate Beckinsale. Where has she been lately?

 Allison is so funny and talented. I love the cut of this dress and how feminine it is. She told Giuliana that when picking her gown for tonight, "this dress just spoke to me so loudly." Maybe because it is a tiny bit loud? It's so pretty... I just maybe feel like it was a bit more Oscar appropriate? And did something about her hair seem a little off? All in all, it's a gorgeous look. I bet this looks absolutely breathtaking in person

 I wish this went all the way down to the floor. She is so, so overwhelmingly pretty. 

You know what this dress needs? A snake necklace. Oh wait, she has one!

I'm sorry. I need another moment with Keira. The collar. The Butterfly wrist corsage. WHAT. WHY.

 Lady Edith Crawley!! Welcome to America! She looks beautiful, and so thin!

Eeeek! Anna! I like this navy color and I like her and I'm so glad she won. She is a doll. 

Seriously, there were so many beautiful looks tonight. Who were your favorites? Anyone I failed to mention? Share your thoughts!