Thursday, October 29, 2009

There Are Some Things I Need to Share With You

First of all, I had a dream last night that I accidentally fell on Katie Couric. She then proceeded to walk around topless since I had hurt her in her chest area.

In the same dream, I was a bridesmaid in a wedding but I didn't know the bride. And the whole day while we were in our purple dresses and taking pictures I kept telling her "I don't know you.... I DON'T KNOW YOU!" and she would just laugh and give me a necklace to wear.

But now for the important part of the blog.

Grant's parents came in for a visit this weekend. It was amazing. When they come, I never stop eating. Or shopping. We spent several hours in Marshall's and y'all SOME DAMAGE WAS DONE. I did some Christmas shopping but if I'm being totally honest then I have to say that I did a heck-of-alot more ME shopping. And it was good.

I got this darling Jones & New York brown suede jacket that is just darling for fall. DARLING. I've already worn it twice this week and it is a new staple in my wardrobe.

I also got several more fall tops... but there is something else. Something amazing. SOMETHING BIG.

I can't remember if I blogged about this or not, but several months ago there were some shoes at Ann Taylor that changed the way I view America. They were stupidly expensive but I didn't care. I took a week to think about it before I bought them but then I decided that they were meant for me and I was meant for them. I got online to purchase them and IT happened: THE SIZE YOU REQUESTED IS NO LONGER IN STOCK. Ummmm what?!

I called Ann Taylor Customer Service and had a nice long chat with Carol. Carol told me that these shoes were featured on the Today show and ever since that happened the women have been buying them like they were the last shoes on the planet. But they weren't the last shoes on the planet. They were the best shoes on the planet. Leopard print. Pointy toe. Kitten heel. Haircalf. Ankle strap. FANTASTIC. And it was gone.

Carol told me they had the same shoe in a ballet flat and I practically laughed at her. Ballet flat? A BALLET FLAT?! Once you've seen the heel you will never settle for the flat.

Carol then tried to encourage me and say that "sometimes people return the shoes" and "keep checking the website to see if someone returns the shoe". I then sighed and said to her "Carol, no one would ever return this shoe. Ever".

I did check the website. Everyday for 3 weeks. And then I let the dream die.


I went to Marshall's with Grant's mom. I went over to the clearance rack and went to the size 5 section. There were only 6 pairs of shoes total in all of the size 5's. And there was one pair that was glowing... a light was shining around it. They were identical.... IDENTICAL I TELL YOU... to the Ann Taylor shoe. Except they were Cole Haan. And CHEAPER. And had NIKE AIR technology in them. All that I heard was Jewel's hit song of the late 90's, "You Were Meant for Me... and I Was Meant for You"....

I picked them up and carried them with me throughout the store. "I won't lose you again" I said to myself. I decided to call Grant cause since they were Cole Haan, and even on clearance they were more than I usually spend. I dialed Grant's number... he was on the golf course with his dad.... I had this whole speech planned out in my head. I was mainly going to focus on the whole "remember how I didn't shut up about those shoes for a month" and I was going to try to imply that he would have to endure the same torture if these shoes did not leave Marshall's with me on that very day.

Just as his phone was ringing an angel in the form of my mother-in-law said "Hang up the phone".

"But...." I started to explain the whole "he will kill me if I don't atleast run this by him".

"I am always buying things for the grandbabies and y'all don't have any babies so this is your grandbaby gift".

"Hello?" Grant says on the phone.

"NEVER MIND!!!" I said and then I hung up and jumped up and down like a 6 year old girl.

To Grant's mom (MADDY!) if you are reading this... thank you thank you THANK YOU!!

I did take a picture with my phone. Before you scroll down to see the pic you should be warned that 1) My skin is the palest skin of all the skins in the world 2) I have an ant bite on my ankle and 3) My ankle is in fact a cankle.

This is not a flattering picture of my foot area BUT THE SHOES!! THE SHOES!!

Enjoy :)


  1. Do you know how AWESOME your MIL is!?!?!?!

    She bought you a grandbaby gift and you don't have a baby!! And you own kitten heel leopard shoes!!! AMAZING!

  2. I love this post. You could be a writer for The Office or something! You have got some talent! ~KE

  3. You are so funny! And those are some killer shoes! :)

  4. The shoes are ADORABLE! So glad y'all had a good time!