Tuesday, May 14, 2013

My First Mother's Day

On Mother's Day 2011, I remember laying in bed that morning and tearing up because I wanted to be a mommy. I wanted a sweet baby and I wanted to start our little family. I kept thinking "Maybe on Mother's Day 2012 I'll have a baby in my arms!". While the timing didn't work out exactly like that, we were pretty darn close.....

On Mother's Day 2012, I was hugely pregnant. Grant decided to give me a sweet gift, a Pre-Natal massage. I was thrilled due to the fact that my back was a hot mess, but I felt kinda silly. I know I was great with child, but I didn't really feel like a mom yet. Heck, I hadn't even seen this baby in me. How could I be honored as a Mother when I had never even looked at my baby's face?

On Mother's Day 2013, I woke up to the sound of my sweet girl chattering in her crib. "da-da-da-da-da....hahaha! babababababaaaaaaa!!!" I walked in to see her sitting up in her bed, clapping her hands, and cracking up laughing the moment she saw me. I scooped her up, kissed all over her cheeks, and hugged her tight. 

For the rest of my life, I'm going to be a mama because of Miss Ellie Paige. She started this new journey I'm walking. I've learned so much and am continuing to learn from my mistakes. We have really great days and really bad days. We have a lot of fun, and we also have meltdowns. Both of us. 

Our days are filled with changing clothes, reading books, banging toys together, taking walks, running errands, getting in and out of the carseat (which she hates), scheduled naps, trying new foods, splashing in the tub, and lots of bottles. She has brought me more joy than I ever, ever though possible. She is exuberant, expressive and delightful..... while also opinionated, stubborn and demanding. She's a tiny little human who will be 10 months old on Thursday. I'm not quite sure how that happened. 

She is my sweet little friend, by happiest girl, my beautiful daughter. I hope and pray that I do right by her. I pray that I don't screw this up. I want her to know how much she is loved. I want her to learn hard lessons and make mistakes. I want to soak this time up because in a few months she'll be a toddler and all this baby stuff will be long gone....

I'm so very thankful that the Lord chose me to be Ellie's mom. 

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