Friday, February 20, 2015

Things I've Said This Morning

Good morning, precious girl! Did you sleep well? Let's go to the potty.

Why won't you just go potty?

I don't understand. Tee tee. It's easy... we do this every day.

Yes, Mommy's bo-bo is still there. It's a zit, baby. And that's a zit. Nope, that's a mole. 

Okay, listen. LISTEN. You DO NOT TEE TEE IN MOMMY'S BED. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!

Mommy is gonna sit right here and read. 

Because I need to read my Bible.

Because Mommy just needs a little bit of Jesus right now, baby. Jesus makes me feel better. 

No, I don't need to go to the doctor. I'm okay. 

Why do you need to go to the doctor?

Your leg is fine. Just sit there and watch Curious George on the iPad, okay?

What's wrong? Did you tee tee in my bed? Oh, Ellie.

Here, play with this.

I'm working on that right now. I'm getting breakfast right now. 

No, I can't sit with you.

Because Mommy can't right now.

Because you put things in boxes when you move. 

Because climbing on the boxes is dangerous.

It's toast. You love toast.

Shhhhhh. It's just too many questions, Ellie. It's just too many questions. 

I can't catch the ball right now.

Because Mommy is drinking her coffee right now and trying to be a nice person. 

I need you to listen and obey. 

I NEED YOU TO BE PATIENT. 

Mommy does need to be patient. Mommy isn't feeling very patient. 

Shhhhhhhh.

Why don't you play your cupcake game? 

How about you don't throw your cupcake game?

I WOULD JUST LIKE TO CLARIFY THAT IT IS ONLY 9:00am RIGHT NOW.


5 comments:

  1. Okay. I've read your stuff for awhile now (love your writing!) and I don't think I've ever de-lurked myself. But I'm taking this opportunity right now to do so because it seems as if you are in my house and hearing all the words I've been saying all morning long. Except throw a 5 month old in the mix. Solidarity, Sister. May the naptime be looooooooong.

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  2. Katey! Thanks for delurking :) I love to "meet" everyone. And, girl... all of that PLUS a 5 month old?! You get a giant standing ovation and also a hug and also all of my respect. Solidarity, indeed. :)

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  3. That is awesome. NO TEE TEE-ING IN THE BED, ELLIE. Hang in there. I see a glass of wine in your future.

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  4. One morning this week I actually said "let's not touch our penis with our waffle".

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  5. Oh, Kristin. I just laughed SO HARD at this. Oh my heavens.... that is amazing. Bennie keeps life entertaining, I'm sure :)

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