Wednesday, September 2, 2009

If Target Didn't Have Such a Dumb Return Policy I'd Take it Back

I have been entirely too productive today. At work, I WORKED the entire day long. And I mean WORKED. With deadlines. And using way too many thoughts. And too much focus. And stress. And overtime. And NO LUNCH.

But it's over now and I came out okay on the other side.

Then I went to church and taught my 3rd-5th grade choir. Tonight went SO MUCH BETTER than last week. We learned 2 songs and laughed and played a funny game.

Then I came straight home and did something ridiculous. You see I have this best friend named Lindsee who always looks great and adorable and toned and tan and she always has perfect eye make up and perfect hair. And she is always talking about her 30 Day Shred with Jillian from The Biggest Loser. And do you know what I did? I went out and bought the darned thing. Because I love Lindsee and I know that she knows what is best for me. But homegirl and I are gonna have some words.

Before we go further, let me please remind you that I go to the gym atleast once a week, usually twice. I work with a trainer. Level 1 should be a breeze.

So I put the DVD in as soon as I got home from church. MAYDAY. I only made it through 20 minutes. I was having an asthma attack, my legs were shaking and I'm pretty sure I dropped a dumbbell on my dog. I may be exaggerating on 1 or more statements in the previous sentence.

Also, when your husband says "Flatten your back, babe" and you turn to him and loudly proclaim "Enough from you! No more speaking! Go read a book!" as you pant and sweat and wheeze, and then he laughs, LAUGHS I tell you, then that would be a good time to turn off the DVD and call it a night.

So, Lindsee, you and your precious 30 Day Shred can be all in love with each other but I am not a fan yet. I even followed Anita for the "modified" work-out but Anita's abs are so perfectly sculpted that I don't really like looking at her in her little green and black exercise ensemble.

Me and my shaky quads are going to bed now.


  1. You are too funny, Miss Jennifer. I so enjoy reading your blog. I apologize that Madison was not there tonight, we are heading out of town for the long weekend and needed to get many things accomplished this evening. She wanted me to make sure that you knew she really wanted to be there and she will definitely be there next week ! Kimberly

  2. Jen you are too funny! I actually have been thinking about buying the 30 day shred! I guess by your blog it might really work! hahah you made me laugh out loud at work lady :) Have a blessed day and get excited...tomorrow is friday and a 3 day weekend!!!

  3. Hey Jen~
    I bought the "30 day shred" yesterday, and man is it HARD!!! I worked up a good sweat in my living room!!!! Thinking I need to do it again today, but I am a little sore! Hope you and Grant are doing good! Kate

  4. You are sooo funny Jen!! And a very gifted writer! You are one of my favourite blog buddies ever :) x

  5. The 30 day shred is super hard, but I love it! It kills me and I really need to start doing it again! It's been over a month now :( and even then I wasn't consistent. Sorry for your pain :( I did it 2 days in a row one time and couldn't walk up the stairs at work - no sir-y!

  6. HA! That's awesome. You're hilarious!

  7. Okay, you have me ROLLING ON THE FLOOR laughing. Seriously! I promise you can do it. You can finish it. Just press through when it gets super hard. That is the ONLY way I made it to level 3! And just for the record, I'm still huffing and puffing every time I do it. It's quite ridiculous. But, you know what they say, no pain, no gain! :)

    Love you! So proud of you!


  8. You are a riot. That had me LOLing at work -- no lie! I've heard about this 30-Day Shred, and I'm not so sure I want to try it now.

  9. That seriously has to be the funniest blog I have ever read from you! My favorite part was the "I may have dropped a dumb bell on my dog." Just go eat some garden salsa sun chips with a diet coke and prop your feet up on the couch. Love you and miss you!!!!

  10. Hilarious!! When are we going to meet?

  11. It gets easier!!!!!! :) You crack me up!!